Thursday, August 8, 2013

Naked + Fire Alarm = My Worst Nightmare Come True, Part Two

Sorry to make you wait.  That was a little mean.

I just had to get up from the computer for a bit.  I had really camped there for quite some time. 

Back to my tale....  if you missed the first half, go here.

So, the Europeans and I step out of the elevator on Floor 61.  And I immediately get a sick feeling.

Remember my first mistake?

I had just realized that I did not have a key to my room.

My key was on the dresser.  Next to the lanyard.  Not in the lanyard.  I doubled checked my wallet and purse to make sure.  Yup, no key.  I'm going to have to go down to registration to get a new key.  Which means I will have to cross the paths of at least a thousand more people.

I press the down arrow and wait for my elevator to arrive.  I towel-dry my hair a bit while I wait. 


The doors open, I enter, and I realize the same old derby dude is in the same elevator.  AGAIN.  And he winks at me.  Haven't I been through enough already?  I pull the towel over my chest and cross my arms over it.  Fortunately, we only stop twice before reaching the lobby floor.

I make my way past the steakhouse, tattoo parlor, childrens' shop, ABC store, and smaller casino toward registration.  See, I wasn't kidding about the thousand people.

When I arrive at the registration desk, I find a line of about 150 people.  Who all simultaneouly stare at me.  And my bralessness.  At least that's what it felt like. 

Crap.  I wasn't going to stand there like that for another hour. 

Then, I remember a wonderful little detail.  I had given my friend Baronness von Booty a key to my room, so that she could throw her skates in there between sessions.  Unfortunately, she was staying at a different hotel and had headed over there to hang out by the pool and then ready herself for our night out.

I texted Booty, briefly explained what had happened, and told her I was on my way over.

Which means I was heading out to the Strip.  Like that.  I know it's Vegas, but it's also me.  And I feel naked. And bouncy.  And wet.

I decide I will find a restroom, get my bra out of my purse, and put it on my body.  Great idea!

I head toward the large casino which leads to the doors nearest to Booty's hotel in search of the elusive restroom.

If you have ever been to Vegas, or any large hotel for that matter, you know that in the maze of the hotel floor you can easily miss things like restrooms.  Even though you know that they are coming up on the left.  Somewhere.  Was it by the pool bar or by the Wizard of Oz slot machines?

As I reach the doors that lead out of my hotel without finding the restroom, I decide it's better to keep moving forward.  Did I mention that my heart has not stopped beating a mile a minute yet?  It was still pounding.  Still adrenaline pulsing through my veins.

I step out into the bright 106 degree sunlight of the Strip.  And realize my sunglasses are on the dresser next to my keys.  Sigh.

Heading toward Booty's hotel, I start to feel a little parched.  I reach into my purse for lip balm.  Which is, of course, in my backpack that I left in the hotel room because there was a possible fire and you should just grab the minimum (like your ID and key) as you exit. 

So, I'm strolling down the Strip squinting, braless, with chapped lips, wet hair, holding a hotel towel....  In other words, I pretty much fit right in.

I pass a CVS and duck in to buy lip balm and deodorant.  Because the stress of the situation is really starting to show, or should I say smell, in my armpits. 

I finally arrive at Booty's hotel room where I put on the bra, deodorant, and balm.  Booty says I look like I could use a drink, and I let her lead me to the pool where Styx and Whip are lounging on chaises.  Booty wanders off to buy me a pina colada, and I sit at the end of Styx's chair, allow my heart to (finally) slow down, and sip its cool sweetness in. 

After about an hour of chillin' by the pool, we decide it is time to get ready.  Booty double checks to make sure she has given me my key and that I know where it is.  I head back. 

And you better believe as soon as I get in my room, I put one key in the lanyard and one key in my purse.  Who knows what I might be doing the next time there is a fire alarm?