Thursday, February 14, 2013

Upping the Ante

Miss Noteworthy is in 8th grade this year.   As we have all survived the evil place they innocuously call "middle school"  (as in "I'm in the middle of hell.  Could someone PLEASE get me out of here?"), we can identify with the awkwardness and sometimes cruel intentions that hound those hallways and classrooms and know that she, too, will live through it.  In that building, she has experienced mean girls and inappropriate boys right along with the best  rest of them.

And as today is Valentine's Day I expect pink teddy bears larger than myself, helium balloon bouquets that could carry a small child away, an inordinately large number of pounds of candy, and enough roses to overcome even the sweatsock smell in the locker rooms to pass through the front doors of the place.

Last year, Miss Noteworthy's previous boyfriend took the expected and easy way out.  He broke up with her right before all the hearts and flowers hit town, and I had warned her that boys of all ages sometimes take this route because they feel pressure about the day o' love (or birthdays or Christmas).  She was pretty upset about the breakup, but all the stuffed animals and flowers compounded the sadness and awkwardness that surround a middle school any breakup (even if they hardly ever spoke to one another the whole six months they were "going out").  She went to school that day armed with the phrase "Happy Single's Awareness Day!" and hoped for the best.  She was just really glad when the day was over.  She survived.

Just like I did when Rich Dern broke up with me ON Valentine's Day circa 1983.  After I had gotten all dolled up in a white, red, and turquoise miniskirt.  And spent all kinds of time wishfully make-upping in the mirror.  I even curled my bangs.  I know.  I know.

Miss Noteworthy has a new "boyfriend" this year, and she actually speaks to this one every single day.  So, exchanging Valentines was a no-brainer.  But, have you read the Valentines at the Krogert? 

Not so much appropriate for 13 and 14 year olds to exchange with each other.  Too much innuendo.  Or no innuendo-everything-just-spelled-out-in-big-red-letters.  Or too mushy.  Yuck.  Or just plain stupid.

So, we decided to go with a card that was ridiculous and made us laugh.  Because as Miss Noteworthy said herself, "It is 8th grade" which means she is not planning to marry this guy.  We both decided that hysterically funny wasthe only way to go. 

I wish I had a picture of the card because Justin Bieber's face is pretty amazing.  And then there was this line about needing extra swag on Valentine's Day.  We both knew it was perfect as soon as we read it.

And then, heart-shaped chocolates just seemed a little sappy.  Miss Noteworthy is kind of a no-frills girl, so she went with oriental flavored ramen instead of flowers or candy. 

Between the Bieber Boy's swag and dried noodles, at our house we call this winning at Valentine's Day.

I'll see your heart-shaped candy and raise you five packs of ramen.


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