Tuesday, October 30, 2012

It Still Is Some Kind of Wonderful

A month or so ago, I was having a hard day.  I don't remember why.  It isn't really relevant, so drop it.  Seriously, you people can be so nosey at times!

Mr. Incredible knew I was down and wanted to cheer me up, so he VOLUNTEERED to sit down to watch a movie with me.  And not just any movie, but Some Kind of Wonderful!!!!  I just love this movie, and the soundtrack is still amazing--Flesh for Lulu, Lick the Tins, The March Violets.  It was coming on television in a few minutes, and Mr. Incredible said he would forgo a football game (please check hell... I'm sure it must at least have a little frost on it) or some other programming that he would normally choose in order to sit on the couch and spend a little time in the same room with me.

If a John Hughes movie is playing, I'm in!  I quickly took him up on his offer before he changed his mind.  Then, I considered that Miss Noteworthy had not seen this particular flick yet, and as it was on television, it would be edited for content and, thus, suitable for a thirteen year old.  I asked Mr. Incredible if it was okay if I invited her to watch with us, and he agreed.  Excited, I raced up to her room.  Miss Noteworthy was hunkered down in her room (as usual), and when I told her one of my favorite movies from my teen years was about to start, she decided she could break herself away from texting long enough to take in a show.

We settled in to watch....

I think my daughter pals around with too many boys.  She could not enjoy the romantic elements in this movie at all.  She thought it was sappy and ridiculous.  Boo.  When the times comes, hopefully, RNR will be able to appreciate it with me.

I enjoyed the movie despite the continual disparaging banter from Mr. Incredible and Miss Noteworthy against Watts, Keith, and Amanda Jones.  I had to tell them to shut it multiple times because they were making me miss the best parts.  I can't believe Miss Noteworthy hopped on the dock with Mr. Incredible and sold me down the river.  Her comments were as bad as his.  They took turns making cracks and trying to ruin my enjoyment THE WHOLE MOVIE. 

Miss Noteworthy did have one good point though.  Near the end of the movie, she asked why the movie is called Some Kind of Wonderful.  And, you know, there is nothing in the whole film that alludes to the title.  Usually there is a song title or a line said by one of the characters that makes it all click.  But, not in this film.  Nope.  Apparently, the movie was titled for a song that isn't in the movie.  Huh.  Lame.

I'll agree that the characters all look like they are in their twenties (which they were).  I'll also agree that there are a few (ok... many) obvious editing problems.  And the montage with Watts playing the drums is a little pointless and melodramatic.  But who doesn't love Duncan showing Keith the picture of what his girlfriend would look like without her skin and the line, " Anytime someone from the outside lifts a woman from a gwat like Jenns, we can all find cause to rejoice." 

And what girl could resist hearing the man she is in love with saying that she looks good "wearing my future"?  Yup, my kid.  That's who.

Well, I'm going to think twice before I invite Miss Noteworthy to watch Pretty in Pink.  She would probably want Andi to wind up with Duckie and crack on Blane the whole time. 

I don't care what those two say, for me it really is still some kind of wonderful.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Down and Dirty

Sometimes, you gotta stop the skate and clean things up.  Today was the day here.

Yup, it's time for making everything pretty and shiny.  And it seemed like it would be more fun to clean up my skates than my house (which is a complete disaster because I've been a little under the weather and incredibly busy).  Don't judge.

This is a little tutorial for my new hunnies who either don't know how to take care of their goods or don't know that they should.

And I'm no expert.  This is just what I do.  There are lots of other options.  And sometimes, I just buy new bearings and toss out the crunchy ones, but other times, I have better things to spend $30 on and decide a little sprucing up will buy me some more time. 

Gather your supplies and get comfy.  You are going to be here awhile.  You need scoopable kitty litter, a good skate tool, mineral spirits (do yourself a favor and get the low odor variety), a bowl, a bearing cleaner bottle (or something to shake your bearings in), some towels, dish soap, and a sink (or bucket).

And in my case, you need oatmeal. Because you still need to eat some breakfast.  And you sit it on the table to cool while you are getting things ready!

I'm doing four sets of bearings and four sets of wheels today because I hate this job, and I like to get it all over with at one time.  Plus, it's been a really long time since I've done much skate maintenance.  I'm overdue.  Shhh!  No one tell Fubar I have been blowing his posts off... ;)
I use a Bones bearing cleaning bottle.  You don't have to.  You could put one bearing at a time in a plastic bottle with a lid and shake it up, but I don't have all day.  I highly recommend this little gadget.
That's one grungy bearing.  Before you put it in the bottle for cleaning, you have to take the colored plastic disk off.  I use a push pin.  Stick it under the lip on the inside circle of the bearing and CAREFULLY pry that off.  Set it aside.  You need to be careful so that you don't bend the disk.  If you bend the disk, you will be spending your $$$ on new bearings because they won't roll correctly. 

Place them in the bearing bottle with a couple of tablespoons of mineral spirits and shake.  It will be disgusting.  See how dark the spirits are in my bottle.  After only three shakes.  Eek!  Pour the dirty mineral spirits into a bowl of cat litter (to absorb and easily dispose of the spirits) and refill with clean spirits.  Repeat until spirits stay clear.  Let all your bearings drain on a towel for a bit.  While you are waiting, wipe the colored bearing disks off with a clean towel.  Then, wipe each bearing with a dry towel and snap disk back in.  Give each one a roll between your thumb and forfimger to make sure it still rolls.

Make a nice warm bath for your wheels.  Dump 'em all in at once.  Let 'em soak.  Use a nylon brush to get any gunk off.  Rinse them with clean water.
Ah! Four sets of clean wheels!  It's been soooo long since I could say that...

Although it takes me about 3 hours start to finish, cleaning these bearings saved me over $100.  If I can do it, so can you.

I'll be one happy skater tonight!

Who needs a Bass-O-Matic? RNR does.

Anyone else love the Bass-O-Matic?  The silence is deafening.  Bueller? Bueller?

As with any family, sometimes our dinner conversations get a *little* strange.

Sometimes, RNR will pop out with something unusually unusual out of nowhere.

RNR: What should I do?  Buy a blender or go fishing?

Us: Why can't you do both? And why do you need to buy a blender?

RNR:  I might need a blender.  I can't do both.

Us:  Why can't you buy a blender and then go fishing?

RNR:  If I take the time to get a blender, I won't have time to go fishing.

Us:  You're nine.  Why would you need a blender?  And we have a blender.  You can use ours.  Why don't you just go fishing and stop worrying about the blender?

RNR:  I want my own blender.  And I want to go fishing.

Us:  I'm afraid we can't help you.  Apparently, you have a choice to make.

Sigh.  This is the child who asked for a Cinderella toaster for Christmas a few years back because she wanted her own toaster.  I wonder which small appliance is next....


Friday, October 26, 2012

Potty Mouth

Looks are deceiving.  I clearly am a serious potty mouth. 
The mom of Bonus will not let me kiss her with this mouth anymore.
This is Sid.  Sid is a good pal of Bonus.  Sid is also a giant sloth.  Sid and Bonus are particularly close right now.  Sid has even traveled to the movie theater and around town with us. He likes to ride in a backpack with his head sticking out on the back of Bonus.  If you come over to our abode, you might find them together at any given time. 

Possibly even in the bathroom.

Poor Sid has found himself head first in the potty two times in the past week. I really have no idea how this happened, and I'm a little afraid to ask.  But nosediving in the toliet means that Sid has also been wrapped in a towel and had his head stomped on an awful lot lately. And been doused with liberal amounts of Lysol and other disinfectants. 

And now, Sid has been banished from all bathrooms.  Bonus was a little woeful about this pronouncement, but when he was informed that the alternative would be the extinction of Sid, he decided he would comply.

In other bathroom stories, Bonus recently came to me griping about sharing a bathroom with his sisters.  He said, "I hate sharing a bathroom with [my sisters].  There are all these yellow things floating (tampon wrappers) in the toliet, and I don't know what they are.  And there are all these bigger yellow things in the trash can.  I think they have something to do with her Pull Ups (pad wrappers)." 

I consoled him and reminded him that his sisters don't enjoy sharing a bathroom with him either.  He frequently forgets to lift the seat.  They don't enjoy his tinkle sprinkle.  They think he is a disgusting pig.   

At this point, I sent him off to play and laughed heartily at his expense like any good mom would.  And texted my friends...

This little convo with Bonus reminded me of the time a couple years ago when I found him "fishing" in the toliet with a 40 pack of Tampax. He was having a grand ole' time, so I let him continue until the game was over.  And then I told him that there would be no more "fishing" of that sort because mommy needed to have her fishing poles available in the event of a flood.  Period.  (See what I did there?)

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Neck and Neck

I would show you my face, but then I'd have to kill you...  Instead, I'm showing you my neck waddle.   

Depending on which news source you follow or which poll you think is valid and reliable, it appears that this is going to be a race until the end.  

Yesterday, I headed up to city hall and cast my vote for the POTUS and a variety of other seats that are up for grabs.  For my little city, I was surprised at the number of people who had the same early voting idea I did.  It was packed out.  I had to wait in line to show my ID and then wait for an open booth.  Keep showing up people!!!!

I'm not going to get all political on you, but I do want to tell you to get out and vote.  Do your part and utilize this right.  If you don't vote, don't gripe when you get something you don't like.  That's my PSA for today.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A Quick Tip for Wanna Be Hipsters

If you have to advertise....

The recent influx of the Ford Flex in my neighborhood is crazy.  Since I got one in March, I think every other minivan-ditching family has bought one, too.  There is even another one exactly like mine (red with white top) at Miss Noteworthy's middle school.

Wouldn't it be hilarious (and possibly permanently scarring) if she wasn't paying attention and hopped in with the wrong mom?  I'm not sure if that would result in laughter or tears on Miss Noteworthy's part, but I know the other mom and I would be trying not to pee in our driver's seats.

As I drive carpool, I keep landing behind the same blue Flex with a silver top.  It's a nice car, but it's the personalized Dallas Cowboys license plate that grabs my attention.  I wish I had a picture of this particular plate to show you, but the ever present "cherries and berries" in my little city frown on the use of cellular apparatus in school zones. To the tune of nearly $300. And there a ticket given at almost every pickup. With Christmas right around the corner, I better mind my p's and q's. Santa doesn't want to have to disappoint the kididdles. No one has ever asked for a ticket instead of an iPod... 

It says:


I'm not even kidding.  It really says that.

Lady, do I need to tell you that if you have to pay the state extra money every year to tell people about your swagger that you ain't gots no swagger at all? 


Nothing even remotely resembling swagger in there. 

Swagless is what is coming to mind. 

Your middle school child most likely wants to disown you now, too.  More than before. 

While you may indeed be entirely swagfree, I am sure you do have a closet full of blinged out Dallas Cowboys shirts.  (The horror.  Mommy, make it stop. Please.)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Incidents of Wild Imagination

I ran into a friend last night, and we started laughing about one of RNR's unwise choices.  RNR has an incredibly delightful friend.  She loves this friend dearly.  This friend loves her dearly.  When they get together, they are the type of duo who bring the roof down.  And this is why the friend's mother and I have learned to keep an incredibly close watch on them when they are together.

About two years ago, they got the idea that if they poured an entire bottle of shampoo on the bathroom floor that they could then ice skate in the bathroom.  And this is the incident about which we were laughing.  There might have been an abrupt end to that playdate....  It's a good thing the mother and I are dear friends, too, otherwise, I would be so horribly embarrassed by such incidents of wild imagination (and destruction) on the part of my child that I might pack up my family and move to Ft. Wayne, Indiana. 

So, my friend and I started talking about how if we had thought of shampoo skating on the bathroom floor that we probably would have tried it, too, because it would probably be pretty fun.  And we agreed that the idea to skate using shampoo was imaginative.

In the middle of all this, I remembered a time when my sister and I had very vivid imaginations.  I shared this childhood memory with a friend yesterday and later with my family at dinner.  Miss Noteworthy laughed so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes.  I got to thinking that you might enjoy this little tale, too.

Once upon a time there were two sisters who secretly called each other HoHo and Mogi.  Hoho and Mogi sometimes played together in the bathtub FOR HOURS.  Sometimes when they played in the bathtub (which was just an average tub, not of the roman, garden, or whirlpool variety), they pretended that they were swimming in Olympic races.  One of them would perch on the edge of the tub while the other swam the breaststroke, freestyle, backstroke, or our own rendition of the butterfly. 

When Hoho and Mogi played this game, our Olympics was always sponsored by Dr. Pepper.  I have no idea why this was an essential part of our game, but it was.  This might reasonably make you think we drank Dr. Pepper which hopped us up and gave us the idea to expend vast amounts of energy swimming in a foot of water.

But, no. 

We would swim our "race", usually win the gold medal, do a press conference, and then, need a Dr. Pepper to refuel us for the next race.

Only our Dr. Pepper was not real Dr. Pepper.

The friend I told this story to yesterday thought, perhaps, that we had used Dr. Thunder or some other Pepper Impostor.  Or even a cola.

But, no.

Our Dr. Pepper was a just plastic cup of water.  We would swim for a while, and then breathing hard, grab the cup of water drawn the bathroom faucet, and greedily gulp it down saying  "Ah!  I needed a cold Dr. Pepper."

And although I am still a Pepper, I think that the Dr. Pepper during the Olympics was probably the best I've ever had.

The End.

Remembering this story and recalling the highly imaginative nature of the games of Hoho and Mogi, I may have snorted, laughed so hard while telling the story that I could not be understood, and nearly peed my pants.  My nephews will be greatly DISAPPOINTED to hear about the near pee.  They prefer stories where I laugh so hard I ACTUALLY pee in my pants next to the ferris wheel at the Irvine Spectrum.  And then over by the fountain in front of H&M, too.  What can I say my sister is the funniest person I know.

Hoho and Mogi masquerade as wives and mothers and  invented two dances called "Heave Ho" and "Do-do-Dee-do-do".  Occasional performances can still be caught by highly select audiences in unusual venues.