Monday, August 29, 2011

Boutfit Shopping!

September 10 is the first public appearance of our league during the halftime of the Dallas Deception vs. Phoenix Rattlesnakes bout.  They invited us, and we accepted (of course we did!).  We love our boys!  They are fabulous coaches and amazing people.  The support and guidance they have given us over the past six months has been invaluable.  And, now we get to skate during their own bout. Exciting!  And nervewracking, but I'll leave that part for another day...
We aren't playing on our "real" teams.  We have special teams for this particular battle; we were drafted onto either the Fighting Unicorns or the Battling Mermaids.  All but three of my Muertas team mates are on the Fighting Unicorns with me.  I'm not a trash talker, or I would say that the Battling Mermaids had better watch their backs... 

With a bout coming up, what does a derby girl do? 

Well, if possible she visits the arena where she will be skating to check out the skate floor.  Different floors=different wheels and skating conditions.  You need to know if it's sticky or dirty or slick or has cracks in it or any other pecularities.  I'm checking out the floor for the first time today.  I'll let you know if I am good with the wheels, but I think my B'Zerk Madman 91A's are going to be just the ticket.  If not, I can try out my Labeda crap wheels.  I know they are stickier.  My Atom Jukes (95A's) will certainly be too slick.  At any rate, I think I have a set that should work.  I would have a difficult time explaining to Mr. Incredible why I need yet another set of wheels... (duh... I need a set to match my boutfit.  I can't think of a more rational reason.).  So, skating surface and wheels should be all worked out by the end of today.

Next, a derby girl takes a look at her safety equipment to make sure she will be all safe for the bout.  We know injury is a risk, even an eventuality, but we guard against it with good equipment as best we can.  I'd love a shiny new black helmet, but they are hard to come by in extra small.  My green helmet is going to have to suffice for now.  My elbow pads (187 Killer) and my wristguards (Triple 8 three strap) are still in good condition, so I don't need to worry about those.  However, my current knee pads (Triple 8 Pro) have seen better days.  Last Monday, I got a small tear right next to the buckle and by Wednesday, the small tear had turned into a large hole. They absolutely HAD to be replaced.  Yay!  I have loved my Triple 8 Pro pads, and I would buy them again.  However, I have been online window shopping the Smith Scabs knee pads in leopard print for months.  Then, Rosie the Inhibitor got some and I knew I was in love for sure.  So, I ordered them on Friday and they should arrive by Wednesday!  I also ordered the knee gaskets to go with them because If I spent the extra $27, I got free shipping (you understand this rationale, right?).  I'll post a pic when they get in. Safety equipment, check!

My skates are in awesome condition (Antik AR-1's in custom colors with PowerDyne Revenge plates) as they are still practically brand new.  I'll turn them over and have a gander at the trucks and plates before the bout to be sure everything looks bout worthy.  And I may buy some fancy leopard duck tape for my laces as tripping on my laces was an issue for the first time last practice.  Totally tripped myself and then did it again immediately because I didn't realize why I was tripping.  Thanks to Haterade for alerting me to the issue and saving me from blowing out my knee!

Once all the boring stuff is in order (not boring to me, but unless you skate derby, too, you might be snoozing a little right now), a derby girl has to consider the all important BOUTFIT.   Boutfit shopping!!!!!

Yes, it's called a "boutfit." Now, the Fighting Unicorns (some of you need to cover your eyes for the typing of this acronym... the FU's...  I know... I know...) will be baby blue and gold for this bout.  And since my home team, the Muertas, are nasty neons, and my league colors are purple and black, I had absolutely nothing to wear.   I absolutely had to go shopping.  Shirts are to be baby blue. Shorts can be whatever we desire, but our captain did say for us to try to get some glitter gold on our bodies.  Do you think these will work?

Go Fighting Unicorns!!!!

In case you can't read it, my shirt says "LOVE thy neighbor."  Don't you just love it?  I thought it was perfect for me.  I dropped it off at the embroidery shop on Friday to get my name and number printed on the back and numbers printed on the sleeves.  I'm pretty sure it's going to become a favorite Monday & Thursday night practice shirt once the bout is over.  You can never have too many practice shirts...

And now I just need to get as many on-skate hours in as I can before September 10.

I'm all set!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

From the Mouth of Bonus

Bonus: "Mama, if you want everyone in the house to listen to you, you should have treasure box right there."

[points at the counter next to the kitchen sink]

Me: "Oh, really.  Is that what it would take?"

Bonus: "I always listen at school.  Well, sometimes."

I haven't decided if  "sometimes" is often enough to warrant a treasure box...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tales from the First Day

The first thing Bonus said when I asked him how the first day was,

"Well, I didn't get detention!  Do they even have detention in this place?"

When I asked him what he did the first day,

"I went to the bathroom three times..."

The important things and all...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Return to Splendor

It finally arrived. 
The five words that spell absolute bliss to mothers everywhere.

The first day of school.


It was been a long, hot, hard summer, and you know I was counting down for the last couple of weeks.

We all made it (barely).

All three were up early thanks to their brand new alarm clocks.  They dressed in their new duds, made their beds (!), brushed their teeth, ate their hot cinnamon rolls and turkey bacon, grabbed the new backpacks, and skipped out the door. 

Of course there are pictures;  however, I'm not sure where Mr. Incredible put his camera...  I'll have to add those later.  Here are a couple from my phone.

RNR looking smart in third grade.

Bonus made it to Kindergarten!  No tears for either one of us.  Just sweet hugs and kisses.

Miss Noteworthy, the supermodel, ready to rock 7th grade.
What have I been doing with myself on this fine first day?  I spent a little time in Proverbs 4, washed, dried and folded all the laundry, cleaned up from breakfast, cooked ground beef for five meals, put dinner in the crockpot, scoured the kitchen counters, and got caught up on all your blogs!  And it's only noon.

I think I might go take a nap before I put the laundry away.

I could get used to this. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Last Kid Picked

Tonight was my second least favorite derby practice ever.  It barely inched by the one where I cried at practice and then for forty-five minutes after practice.  And got a hug from my seventeen year old babysitter.    

The drills were fine.  I didn't even mind monkey sprawls.  Or five minutes of sprinting. 

I showed up in a good mood, excited for practice and ready to skate.

Then I got picked last for scrimmage. 

And really they almost didn't pick the last two of us at all.  Just two of us were left, already humiliated by being the last ones standing there, and then we just stood there for what seemed like an eternity while the captains were talking back and forth.  I honestly think they forgot about us. 

Now, I'd like to say I faced this with a good attitude and let it roll off.  However, I didn't.

It ticked me off.

So, while they were whispering and giggling and ignoring us, I yelled at them,

"Hey!  We're still here.  We are already humiliated enough.  Put us on a team."

And as we skated over to our teams, someone trying to be nice said, "They were fighting over you."

Yeah, right.


Now, I understand that someone has to be picked last every week.  I have never been picked last before tonight, although I have been picked close to last.  I have even been picked first.  Normally, I'm somewhere in the middle.

Being picked last brings up every last insecurity I have about my athletic abilities.  It doesn't make me want to try harder, so that I don't get picked last next time.  I know it might motivate some people; it makes me want to go home.  And that's what I wanted to do, but I didn't.  I stayed and had a lousy scrimmage because, in reality, isn't that what I was set up for?    

Yeah, yeah... rise above.  Show them they are wrong.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  This isn't a scene from a Lifetime movie. 

It hurts our feelings to be picked last.  There is nothing nice or kind or redeeming about this process of team selection.  And I am not going to pretend that I'm fine with being picked last.  I'm not.  I don't care if you are forty or twelve or six or eighty-two, it still stings. 

All I know is that there has got to be a better method.     

Every woman standing on that rink has earned the right to be at bouting practice. We have all had off practices and off weeks. And being picked last only serves to kick us while we are down.   

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Roller Con 2011

In a word, WORD.  If you are a derby girl (or guy) and weren't there, you missed out.  I'm buying my MVP pass for 2012 in January.  And I will be skating next year for sure.   

Watching Team SeXY trounce Team Awesome for the first time ever was a highlight.  We rooted fairly quietly though as we didn't want the 2,997 other derby girls to gang up and dogpile us for not rooting for the girls.  Even with a "broken" ankle and injured arm, Matomic and Just the Tip rocked it.  You did all the Revolutionaries proud.

Victory looks good on everyone.

A very SeXY score.

Not your typical Vegas hookers.


Monday, August 8, 2011

I Have Not Fallen Off the Face of the Earth... Yet...

But I know some of you think I have.

It's hot.  I'm hibernating.  The record temperatures and drought have driven me inside.  And I'm not coming out until it's over.  I'm taking this opportunity to catch up on my reading.  I don't even venture outside to check the mail until after dark.

School starts two weeks from today.  If it had started today, it couldn't have been soon enough.  By the calendar, this was a short summer.  However, it feels like the longest summer of my life.  My kids can't get along for two minutes.

I'm not kidding.  It's been that bad. 

My patience is long gone.   

Any sadness I had at my youngest going off to kindergarten has vanished.  This summer has cured me of any sentimentalities I may have had. 

I've got their backpacks full of school supplies sitting by the door.  I'm ready.  It's beyond time.   

Sunday, August 7, 2011