Sunday, December 5, 2010

***Note to Mr. Incredible (in case you've dropped in for a little visit)***

I hope you and RNR Princess have enjoyed your wedding date to Little Rock, Arkansas.  I know you would have preferred me to be your date, but she will always remember getting on a plane dressed in a sparkly green dress and going on a trip with just the two of you.  I'm sure Miss Proper is wondering where she will get to go with you when her social schedule, homework schedule, and softball schedule allow.

Seventeen days, Love. You better get cracking. Just because I have five more years until I am Bonus' definition of old does not mean you are off the hook. Diamonds, a netbook, new kitchen sinks, a new sofa, new bedroom furniture, and a new wheel cover for the hooptie will suffice. Or you can just send me and Pandamom to New York in April. Take your pick. (Translation: I really would love to have picture of me wearing my green raincoat in Central Park.  For your desk and all, of course.)

About my birthday party... You know I am not particularly fond of this type of surprise. Last time someone planned a surprise birthday party for me, I wound up with my face planted in my birthday cake.  After breaking my nose four times, my nostril output is not what it used to be.  I'm pretty sure that cake would stay up there.  I'd hate to suffocate on my birthday.

A heads up would be lovely. Sooner would be better than later. The house is a complete disaster. I don't want dirty bathrooms or dishes in the sink if people are coming over.  And you know that our child has a penchant for leaving underwear in the most unexpected places.  It is just not necessary for anyone other than JMom or Kernsie to walk in on such sights.  We don't want to scar our friends for life.

Plus, I bought a fantastic green sequined shirt for myself for my birthday; I need to know when to wear it. And I don't have the right boots or jewelry for it yet, so...

Oh yes, don't forget that the theme should somehow include the color GREEN or Ugly A$$ Dress or both. In which case, I have to wear my prom dress from my junior year with matching hat and gloves.  You see, it is really important for you (or a friend of mine) to give me a strong hint in the right direction.

Will I be wearing this black and gold vintage 1940's dress or my blingy new shirt or something else? 
Your guess is as good as mine.

And FYI, I would rather not wake up to forty flamingos or toliets or a flashing sign in the front yard.  Coffee in bed will me make smile. 

If possible, I'd like a tiered cake. Ask RNR Princess which one I picked out. Fabulous letters to me in a super cute album would be preferable to gifts. Unless someone has an extra red convertible Ford Thunderbird taking up space in their garage.  In that case, they should feel free to bring a gift.  Perhaps even encouraged. 

You might ask some of my favorite people for help. Remember that my sister was a professional event planner. She could give you some pointers. Guest list is in the kitchen near my computer. If you aren't sure how to contact a few of the people, check my Facebook account. You know the password.

I'm sure it will be a great party whatever you plan.  The above ideas are really only suggestions.  My main concern is I just don't want to show up looking like this:

Don't ask me what I was thinking.  Obviously, I wasn't. 

1 comment:

  1. I do believe this my favorite post of yours---EVER. That dress is a close second. Oh. My. Word. At least my metallic prom dress(es) kept the metallic material pretty much altogether as opposed to being split up in five different areas. I'll have to show you my junior year royal blue metallic, but your fav will be my emerald green metallic dress that I donned for my senior year. Can't wait to see what Mr. Incredible comes up with. ; )