Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Can you believe it? I took some pictures.

Yeah, yeah...I'm not a camera mom.  I have an excellent photographic memory though, so that works for me.  One of my best pals gives me an extra hard time about not taking pictures, so I'm trying to get better about it.  I bought a little point-and-shoot camera that fits in my pocket or purse.  The big one is such a chore to lug around, so I often just left it at home rather than be bothered.  Maybe this will help me.  Maybe not. 

I am all busy getting ready for Christmas.  I have a bunch to say, but I have to go to the post office and fight the hoards to get a postmark on a rebate form for Mr. Incredible's Christmas gift that he bought himself a few weeks ago.  It's not my favorite thing to have in the house, but it's a nice enrichment for his bromances.  I also have to do a little holiday outfit returning.  If my kids would just go to the store with me, it would make this task so much easier.  They only purport to like shopping.  It's a lie.

Anyway, until I get finish with the wrapping, cleaning, trimming, etc... I'll post a few pics of the past month.  Hopefully, I'll get back to you with the good stuff before Friday.

My Little Pretties in the Annual Pose

Miss Proper and her partners in crime good friend ;)

Hope all had a Thanksgiving like we did. 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

From the Mouth of Bonus

"It's good that people are not made of cheese."

Yes, son, it is good that people are not made out of cheese.  Living in Texas, we would be nothing but a big pool of queso.  

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Negotiations Begin

Apparently, the "Symphonic Romance" is heating up.

It seems that The Boy likes Miss Proper, although he is not ready to make his affections fully public at this time.  His friends made it known today that "someone" who has first period band likes Miss Proper, which narrows down the field significantly, but that is all the information his lackeys would divulge today.

An offer was extended by The Boy through his friends:

The boy will tell Miss Proper who he likes if she tells him who she likes first.

One of her friends told her not to fall for that because it was a set-up.  We shall see.

Stay tuned.

Friday, November 19, 2010

All I Can Say Is Thanks

Yesterday I spent the day setting up a craft room, setting up a craft booth, helping man a craft booth, teaching crafts to a small group of women, refilling punch bowls and serving punch to the women at my church.  Taste of Christmas is a wonderful night, and I look forward to it each year.

I enjoyed seeing all the people I know and ladling them up a beverage.  You know, I would say hello, ask them if they would like punch or water, ask about their kids or grandkids, or if they were enjoying the evening, etc...  And they would chat away with me, and we would look one another directly in the face and smile.  This repeated a couple hundred times.

And I although it was a long day, I did enjoy it.  I walked in my home around 10:15 that night and was all smiles.  Until I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

I had the mother of all zits on my chin, and no one bothered to tell me!  Thanks, friends!  I'll remember that when you have spinach in your teeth or toliet paper on your shoe.  Next time, tell me that the volcano is about to erupt.  It will be our secret code.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Stories from Both Ends

In the realm of parenting, there is nothing quite like waking up to the sound of your four year old puking a mountain of spaghetti right smack next to your pillow at 2:00 am.  At least he missed my head.  And, of course, Mr. Incredible was in Stillwater, Oklahoma for this event.  At least we were both being punished at the same time. 

I apologize if you thought you were going to eat breakfast in a few minutes or if you were planning to cook pasta this evening.  I needed you to share my pain, and I thank you for being there for me.  You are the wind beneath my wings.

Poor little Bonus.  He seems fine now, but since I had to change sheets and wash pillows, sheets, and mattress protectors IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT (but I'm not bitter or anything), he had to stand there and shiver for a bit until I put on the extra set of sheets (the flowered ones that I hate and only put on when there has been such an incident).  I'm really not that good at puke duty because it makes me gag.  So, I start to clean up, and then I have to throw up.  It takes a little longer that it should for me to get everything all tidied up.  Mr. Incredible, however, is a superhero who is able to clean up puke with out a single gag. Yes, he thinks he should get a medal for having cleaned up my chocolate milk and Cheetos mess when I was with child. 

For the other end...  I was shopping in Walgreen's and noticed a not-so-favorite teacher from RNR's school.  RNR, Bonus and I all said hello to her and then continued with our shopping.  When we got up to the register, she was right ahead of us.  I don't know about you, but when I run into someone in a store, my eyes almost always wander to what they are purchasing.  It's an almost automatic thing, and then, you know, you ask them a question like, "Grilling steaks tonight, Bob?"  You know, you put on your sign that says, "Mistress of the Obvious" and make small talk about their lives based on their purchases.  Innocent and friendly enough, right? 


Big mistake.



And this person is always in a bad mood and gripes at the kids.  And I guess it's no wonder now.  Why couldn't it have been tampons?   

And then our eyes accidentally meet, and I sooooo do not know what to do because the thought that pops into my head is, "I hope everything comes out okay."  Which causes me to have a little giggle that I am trying to stiffle so that I don't embarrass her.  She quickly leaves, and I practically run to the car and bust out laughing.  And RNR and Bonus, of course, want to know why I am laughing. 

Yes, apparently, I am really an eight year old boy walking around in the body of a thirty-nine year old woman.  Don't fall for it if I ask you, "What's under there?"

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Attack of the Space Invaders

You may know them as Close Talkers...

A few days ago, I had an encouter of the close kind with a complete stranger at Lowes.  As Mr. Incredible and I stood at the checkout counter a man came up behind me in line and invaded the personal space of my backside.  Hey, I love to be close to people, but this was ridiculous.  Maybe even turdiculous, which is Miss Proper's verbal invention. Look for "turdiculous" on Urban Dictionary.  Miss Proper packs a poetic license just like her parents.

So, Mr. Incredible and I termed this man a Space Invader in a sentimental nod to the Atari game we all loved in the early 80's and added that to the rest of the bizarre converation of that impromptu date which also included the discussion of vanity plates that tell you what kind of car the owner is driving.  The example that day was "TBENZ1".

To the driver of that vehicle, thank you ever so much for providing me with that information.  I would have never known what kind of car you were driving if it were not for your vanity plate.  I might have mistaken your car for a Yugo.  Thank you also for immediately letting me know that we probably could never be friends.  I'm sure you are a lovely person and all, but unless your husband ordered that plate for you without your knowledge, you are not my kind of girl.   

Friday, November 12, 2010

I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No / "Soldiers"

Not really.  But I got your attention. 

I have learned to say no over the years.  I no longer step forward and volunteer myself simply because no one else wants the job.  If I say I will do something, it's because I want to or I feel like it's something I should do.  The tough part is when you feel like it's something you want to do or feel you should do but you just can't make it happen.  Happens to me all the time.

And a friend of mine was writing about just that the other day.  This is a blog you need to read.  Because it's real.  What happens when you find yourself living in Plan B?  I'll tell you what.  Plan B is a wonderful place to be.  Plan B is beautiful. 

How's your Plan B working out for you?  And if you are one of the few that actually gets to live your Plan A, is it all it was cracked up to be?  Or are you a hybrid, a Plan A via Plan B?  Are you someone who got exactly what they wanted just not in the way you thought you would get it?  Just wondering... because I spend a bunch of time wondering about those types of things. 

My two cents...  Passionately live the Plan B life that you didn't plan because it's so much better than your Plan A ever thought about being.  You'll always remember the Plan A.  You might always miss Plan A.  Plan A was just a plan, and one definition of plan, according to Webster's is "a method for achieving an end".  Plan A and Plan B or Plan C or D, if it comes to that for you, are all just a means to get us to the ultimate end of bringing glory to the King of Kings. 

Although I can say no these days, I can't say no to a friend who has invited me to play along.  And it's one of those FB things that you just can't help but chime in on.  The iTunes Shuffle Game.

Here are the rules:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the song name down no matter how silly it sounds.

If someone says "you're okay" you say:
"Groove Is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite (and how)

How would you describe yourself?

"Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas (I could have been a contender.  Just ask me.)

What do you like in a girl/guy?

"Le Freak" by Chic (I'm not sure how Mr. Incredible will feel about this, although he would agree all his predecessors were a bit on the side of freakish.  All in all, my favorite people across my life resemble this.)

How do you feel?

"Holiday" by Madonna (Amen. Can't get here soon enough)

What's your life's purpose?

"Gonna Make You Sweat" by C+C Music Factory

What's your motto?

"Unforgetful You" by Jars of Clay

What do your parents think of you?

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Men

What do you think about very often?

"Another Nail in My Heart" by Squeeze

What do you think of your best friend?

"The Devil Is Bad" by W's (hilarity)

What's your life story?

"Heat of the Moment" by Asia

What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Only Time Will Tell" by Asia

What do you think when you see the person you like?

"Shout" by The Isley Brothers

What will you dance to at your wedding?

"YMCA" by The Village People (I think it actually was played.  That, The Macarena, The Electric Slide, The Chicken Dance and Boot Scootin' Boogie. I had no control over the play list.)

What will they play at your funeral?

"I Melt With You" by Modern English (I was kind of hoping for "In the Presence of Jehovah" and "It Is Well" but I guess this could work...)

What is your passion in life?

"Little Man" by The OC Supertones

What is your biggest fear?

"Macarena" by Los Del Rio  (This is like the Magic Eight Ball.  I greatly fear line dancing.)

What is your biggest secret?

"Less Is More" by Reliant K

What do you want right now?

"Let's Go" by The Cars

What will you title this post as?

"Soldiers" by Out of Eden

Well, now that I am completely mortified that my song library appears, for the most part, to be nothing but a soundtrack of a 1991 Pike frat party I once attended, I think I should have said no.  

I'm off for a sleepless night with 5th and 6th graders.  And very bad weak coffee in the morning.  All just a "don't-miss-this" part of Plan B.  Try to control your jealousy.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

All I Want for Christmas

Santa Baby,

I haven't written to you in about thirty-three years, and you haven't visited me in over twenty.  However, that doesn't mean the relationship is over.  I would love to have you drop by this year.  And since you will be visiting my children anyway, it shouldn't put you out too much.  I'll put out a ham sandwich, an extra chocolate chip cookie, and a bottle of Tums. 

Although I won't say I've been good all year, this year was an improvement from last year.  If it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to ask you something.

My sweet nephew Jude would like to go to Haiti in December.  He has been making some phone calls and sending letters, but since he is only seven, his scope is a little limited.  He would like to be a missionary someday.  That and a professional football player.  If you could help him out with even a small monetary donation, that would make my heart swell.  Send your donation to:

27702 Crown Valley Parkway, Suite D4
Box 201
Ladera Ranch, CA 92694

Put Jude Gibson Fund in the memo line.  They will send you a receipt for your taxes.  If you want to check out this organization, click here.  They are doing amazing things to help Haitians. You can also donate via PayPal through their website.  Jude has asked the people he loves to send him money for Haiti instead of Christmas gifts.  That's a huge sacrifice for a seven year old.  I'm proud of him, and I love him.  I hope you can help him reach his goal.  He needs $1500.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Dream Come True... Sort Of

For those of you who don't live in my hood and for those of you who live in my hood but did not see me on the day of Candy Reckoning, this is for you...

Reckless Housewife No. 867-5309

In my alternate reality, this is me.  I jump in the mind portal, and here I am.  Only I have extra piercings and larger tattoos.  And jet black hair with a green swath.  Everytime.  Seriously.  I know this makes some of you giggle.  I really can be quite tough when I want to.  Stop laughing.  Ask my friend Kernsie.  I knocked her out of the race at the local rink because she was in between me and the finish line.  It was sweet.  And she didn't cry or anything; she just made excuses as to why she didn't beat me.  And I made excuses as to why I did not beat the eighteen year old who won ("If she was wearing rentals like me, I would have smoked her and stubbed her out on the curb."  "I'm almost 40; I'll bet she won't be able to skate like me when she is 40." etc., etc., etc.)  I still think they should have a exclusive race for those of us 30+.      

In my reality, driving one hour each way to practice with these girls is not fair to my family.  So, I just have to settle for playing pretend whenever I get an opportunity.  Or wait until they actually quit talking about it and start a league at my rink.  Plus, Mr. Incredible does not really dig this look on me.  He once told me he wouldn't be my friend if I got a tattoo.  He, of course, ate those words.

If any of the others of you who saw me this day would like to send me your picture of me, hugs and kisses would be bountiful.  This one is courtesy of Momma Wolg.  I may just turn it into a fabulously reckless header--Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style, you know. 

And, yes, the tattoos are finally all gone.  Well, except the one that is a permanent fixture.  And that is a story for another day...

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I Don't Think I Should Have To Pay The Pig. I Bought The Darn Thing, Afterall

So, I was driving in the crazy intersection by Lowe's, Target, WalMart, and the Shops.  And, of course, like each and every time one drives in this intersection, peril was at my doorstep.  This time I really did almost get killed by a driver pulling out of the Lowe's parking lot and into my lane. 

Because it was a near-death experience, I let a little word slip out.  It's the one that starts with "Shhh" and ends with "It's in the closet." 

Now, I rarely cuss.  I did have about six weeks in a certain semester in college where I might have been mistaken for a sailor, but I stopped it.  It's just something I was personally convicted about one morning many years ago when a certain unbecoming word that rhymes with "duck" flew out of my mouth before my feet even hit the floor in the morning.  It was one of the those times where God spoke loud and clear to my heart and told me, "You are not created to be like this."  And I heard the disappointment and concern and knew that I needed to change.  I do have the occasional slip, but it really is not a place where I struggle continually.

So, my four year old had never heard such a word before, and, of course, I heard the word come from the backseat in his lispy little voice.  And I decided that I would just let that lie instead of explaining why it is a word that grown-ups shouldn't use but sometimes do.  Or how it was not a word for him to use EVER.  I'm pretty sure this was a limited case of in-one-ear-and-out-the-mouth.  I haven't heard it since, and I am thankful because that is one case where what I said was not worth remembering.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

Thank you, Lord, for giving my husband the wisdom to say yes to a gorgeous new Kitchen Aid dishwasher.  Thank you for giving him a rawkstar wife who was able to save him thirty percent off the price because of her mad negotiating skills and cute voice. Please bless the installation tomorrow.  Protect my ears from any profanities and my body from any steel objects that may be hurled.  Amen.

I am soooo thankful for this new dishwasher.  My old one died a slow painful death.  I'm looking forward to having clean dishes at the end of a cycle. 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

How To Destroy a $1000 Washer

Because there's nothing more endearing than a person who is completely honest...

I will tell you that when I washed the darks today I somehow missed a Pull Up in a little person's pajama pants.  I figured this out when I went into the laundry room to put something in the refrigerator.  When I glanced over at the washer, I knew something was not right.  At first I thought it was pieces of tissue or paper that I had missed in a pocket, but, no, that liquid-loving polymer was piled up on the clear window of my washer.

Because I like to look for a silver lining...  the bonus was that the clothes were almost dry.

Wonder what's going to happen in the dryer...

Miss Proper helped me clean up the mess and then made up a song about it to "She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain."  It was quite entertaining. 

I really don't recommend this for the rest of you who have front-loaders.  And now, I may have yet another household task where Mr. Incredible does do a better job.  Sigh.