Sunday, August 8, 2010

If You Don't Send This To Eight People In The Next Five Minutes, You Will Be Locked Out of Facebook Forever

Well, I have no news right now, and I'm tired, so I'm stealing this from the Facebook files.  Sue me.

I've come to realize...

I've come to realize that my body is... still a struggle for me even though my husband thinks it’s pretty hot.  Yes, he is seriously demented, and I'm thankful for that.

I've come to realize that my job is ... important! I ♥ being a mom to my kids even when they are driving me crazy and I’m having a Calgon moment.

I've come to realize that when I'm driving... I can’t be in an emotional state of mind. Two tickets, two Mondays in a row, two stop signs I didn’t realize I ran through… BAD! SAD! EXPENSIVE!!!!  The driver's safety course I took was far more punitive than the $189 fine and insurance hike would have been.  The deferred adjudication I requested for the second ticket gives my kids a great reason to behave in the car..."You are going to have to get along in the car until October 12.  You wouldn't want Mommy to go to jail, would you?"  Don't think I haven't used this.   

I've come to realize that I need nothing more in life than... the Lord. Now, if I could put that into practice and not try to run my own life… 

I've come to realize that I've lost my... mind. Long gone. Don’t even miss it anymore, but if you come across it, please show it how to Google me.  It could come in handy sometime.

I've come to realize that I hate....onions. Yeah, that answer is a cop-out.

I've come to realize that money is... a necessary headache. The more you have, the more you spend, and the more you worry about it. We would not mind a raise though.

I've come to realize that certain people...love me in spite of myself. What a lucky girl I am.

I've come to realize that I'll always remember...the feel of hot air blowing up my nightgown while sitting over a floor register, my great-grandmother’s funeral, the first time a boy brought me flowers, my sister’s taped guitar practices, the smell of the ocean, a gorgeous sunset, and my first kiss. And how could I forget the first time I met Mr. Incredible, our bench, the night he told me I was beautiful, his proposal, the births of all three of our children and the loss of our three other babies. I’ll always remember my grandfathers, too, and I will always miss them.  My memories of people I love are so vivid, I sometimes feel like I am actually re-living the moments when I recall them. Most of the time I consider that a wonderful gift.

I've come to realize that my sibling...is the funniest person I know! I’m not sure if she is hilarious to me because we have so much shared history or if other people think she is as funny as I do. I really don’t care; she cracks me up. She really could have been on Saturday Night Live. She makes me laugh so hard that I can’t breathe, tears run down my cheeks, and snorts and snot fly out of my nose.  Generally, I will wet my pants from laughing too hard at least once a visit.  Twice if we eat yogurt at the spectrum.

I've come to realize that my mom...is beautiful and always has my best interest at heart. She also has fantastic fashion sense. I love to talk to her on the phone. I have friends who don’t get along with their moms, and it makes me sad because I enjoy spending time with my mother.

I've come to realize that my cell phone...is how I communicate with those closest to me. If I call you on it, you are special. If you call me on it, I feel special. Love to get your texts, too.

I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning... it was way too early!  Coffee by the gallon, please. Oh, and make that decaf.

I've come to realize that last night... was fun. Watching James Bond with your four year old son and your husband can really be eye-opening. When was the last time you ran up and down a volcano in a white bikini while your male escort was fully clothed? Yeah, although I know some of you will be surprised, me neither. However, we have much higher survival rates than Bond girls, so I’m thinking we are on the right track.

I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about... wouldn’t you like to know.

Actually, I’m thinking about roller derby. Yes, I’m a little obsessed, and I think the pursuit of this particular dream scares Mr. Incredible a little. I enjoyed other extreme sports like rock scrambling, rock climbing, and scuba diving before I met him. He has never watched me participate in them though, unless you count childbirth. He did see me get into a knock-down-drag-out with my sister once; it wasn’t pretty. I got a wedgie from her dragging me all around my apartment by my feet, but I think I actually won that battle. Yep, it’s important to brawl over your dad’s ancient plaid flannel shirt. Especially if you are really into grunge music. Maybe we had a little too much teen spirit. Only I was in my twenties.

I've come to realize that my Dad is... still protective of me at 39. I guess that won’t stop anytime soon.

I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook... I lose track of time. I don’t think I’m alone on this one…

I've come to realize that today...is going to be a long day. When you only sleep about 45 minutes and get up at 5am, it’s tough to get up off the couch for any reason. Also, today is a gift. The grace for today is sufficient, even abundant.

I've come to realize that tonight...I will probably sleep like a rock. Tonight is also a good night for a pear martini.  Oh wait, every night is a good night for a martini even though I rarely drink them.

I've come to realize that tomorrow...is Sunday! I will be busy “being the church” with the four year olds. Joy and privilege. I will also get to meet with my moms, inc. steering team at Starbucks. I have missed my team over the summer. Looking forward to our new beginning and old traditions. Tomorrow is also “another day.” Don’t you just love Scarlett?

I've come to realize that I really want to... Where to begin this list… I REALLY want to be a derby girl (or at least dress like one for a photo shoot). I must get to work on my t-stops if I want to be a derby darling. I’m at least going to try out in the next couple of years. I really want to go to NY with my friend even though I’m pretty nervous about taking a taxi. I really want the wall in my dining room to get finished so I can move all the furniture back. I really want a nap. I could go on and on, but I really want to stop right here.

I've come to realize that my children...are fabulous people. They may not always behave or say the right things, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. If I traded them, I would not be able to tell stories about the random things they say. For instance, last night at dinner, RNR Princess busts out with, “People are not tomatoes.”  We are checking to see if there is a pill for that.

I've come to realize that this weekend...is almost over! Aren’t weekends always too short?

I've come to realize that the best music to listen to when I'm upset is...not eighties music unless it’s Katrina and the Waves because who can be upset listening to “I’m Walking on Sunshine.” You start to feel good. Just sayin’. Relient K is a good choice. So is Switchfoot. And, of course, I can always listen to Paul McCartney and Wings or Fleetwood Mac. Or Dolly.

I've come to realize that my friends...are lifesavers! What would I do without each one of you. Priceless treasures. Inspirations. Supporters. An irreplaceable group of people.

I've come to realize that this year...is over half over. Where does the time go? This year is proving to be full of unexpected surprises. The second half could be a real humdinger. I had to say humdinger because who says that, right? I guess I do.

I've come to realize that my husband is... Matthew McConaughey’s look-a-like or brother or something similar. He got told it again this week. Ladies, he’s taken. Mr. Incredible is not perfect, but he is definitely far beyond “good enough”. He is also forgiving, hard working, completely inappropriate and dorky, which I apparently really like. If we ever dated, you must have been a real dork.

I've come to realize that maybe I should... patent my ideas. It never fails that I come up with an idea for a brilliant product and then see it being sold on TV a few years later. TVs with a remote control locator button on them? My idea in the 90s. Showed in the early 2000’s. If I can just figure out how to put my latest idea on paper, JMom and I are going to make Oprah look poor. I’ll give you a hint; it has something to do with golden winnebagos. That’s all I can say.

I've come to realize I really don't understand... Mandarin. I never thought I did understand it, but it is the only thing I could think right now.
   
I've come to realize that my past... is not coming back. And it’s forgiven. Most of it has been incredibly, deliriously, decidedly FANNYPAKTASTIC. Just a little summer camp saying I picked up from Miss Proper. Maybe you had to be there. Or maybe it’s not as catchy as she thought…

I've come to realize that parties... will always make me nervous! It’s just part of being an introvert. Once I get comfortable with people, I usually enjoy myself.  If I get really comfortable, you might have to tell me it’s time to go home. 

I've come to realize that my life is... purchased with a price I can never repay and certainly don’t deserve.  That’s winner winner chicken dinner, don’t you think?  And, unlike James Bond, we only live once. You should enjoy life within reasonable limits. Eat the last Red Vine while your kid is in the bathroom. Wear yellow shoes while carrying an orange purse. Let your kid wear the same Star Wars shirt so many times that all his preschool pictures from last year feature Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Princess Leia. Put on a  sequined shirt to go the Krogert. Play with your kids instead of mopping the floor. Try not to worry about what other people think. It’s not their opinions that count. And GO TO DISNEY WORLD at least once.  Disneyland does not count, although it is fabulous, too, and probably even my favorite.

1 comment:

  1. There are so many words on here that there is no room left to comment. However, I will text.

    I heart NYC.

    ReplyDelete